I had a signing scheduled at CHAIN (I'll never tell which one), and when I got there, I went up to the guy at the info desk to see where he wanted me to station myself.

Answer from guy at info desk, "Huh? What do you mean, you have a signing? Nobody told me there was a signing." I told him who I was (not Stephen King) and that the signing for my book had been set up six weeks earlier. He said, "I never heard about it. I'll call the manager."

While waiting for the manager, I wandered over to the mystery section and noticed my books were not there. I began to sweat.

Then manager of CHAIN came up - he looked about 15, by the way - and said "Who are you?" I introduced myself and went through my little song and dance again. He said, "What signing?" I did more song and dance, explaining that I had signings at ALL their CHAINs in the city.

He finally broke down and looked me up on the computer. Lo, there the signing notices were - including that night's signing at his own store. "Guess I didn't read the note from Corporate" he said, and added, "Maybe I should get you a table." He then got a table, plopped it down in front of me, AND WALKED AWAY.

I chased after him and said, "I need books!" He said (I swear I'm not making this up) "What books are you talking about?" I took a deep breath and said, "My book." I then went through my song and dance again, and informed him that my book had received some very nice reviews in New York Times, Publisher's Weekly, etc. etc., etc., and chances were pretty good that he really did have some of them kicking around somewhere.

I got more of his blank look, then he said, "Didn't you bring your own books with you?" Song and dance again, with a reminder that bookstores usually like to sell their own stock, even CHAINS. He said, "Well, I'll go look in the back. Maybe there's some back there."

He was gone for about 15 minutes, while people who had come in for the signing milled around the empty table. I wound up signing some post cards, and giving out the address of a store I knew darned well had my books (and it wasn't CHAIN, either).

Eventually CHAIN manager emerged from the back and said (again, I'm not making this up), "Yeah, it looks like we had lots of your books but we sold all of them in one day. So they're gone. Ha, ha."

I asked (politely, believe it or not), "Didn't you re-order, especially since I had this signing today?" He looked at me as if my head had just turned into a jack-o-lantern and said (not making it up, again), "Re-order? Why?"

I'm obviously a saint, because I didn't rip his tongue out. I just toddled off into the night.

Today I received an apology from the PR person for the CHAIN, and they're setting something up again - plus some more signings at the other CHAIN stores because the book is selling well, but geez. Is it my imagination or are some of these places being run by people who don't know a book from a refrigerator, don't read (not even notes from Corporate), and don't have any common sense at all?"