The Business Blog at Intuitive.com

Dave Taylor has been involved with the online world since 1980 and is recognized globally as an expert on both technical and business issues. He has been published over a thousand times, launched four Internet-related startup companies, has written twenty business and technical books and holds both an MBA and MS Ed. He's a columnist for the Boulder Daily Camera and Linux Journal and frequently appears in other publications both online and in print. Additionally, Dave maintains four weblogs: The Business Blog at Intuitive.com, Ask Dave Taylor, Dave On Film, and GoFahterhood. Based in beautiful Boulder, Colorado, Dave is an award-winning speaker, sought after conference and workshop participant and frequent guest on radio and podcast programs, as well as active member of his community and busy single father to three children.

Sleep Deprivation: The Essential Parenting Experience

The little guy promptly pops up and says "I want to go to the kitchen with you." So we trudge downstairs to the kitchen in the dark, he gets a cup of rice milk and we go back to bed. Then, seemingly just moments later, in the midst of a deep sleep, L- nudges me awake: "it's 8am! We need to get A- to school!" so I snap awake, make breakfast and motor off to school.

I wasn't too together, though: it's 45F and raining outside and I left the house in shorts. Brr...

But in the midst of a sort of haze today (I tried to lay down for a nap but couldn't fall back asleep) I can't help think about how the idea of "lights off, sleep through for eight hours" is so foreign as a parent. It's one of those things that people joke about, but, really, if you're about to become a parent, kiss a good night of sleep goodbye for... who knows how long. Years.

There are parenting approaches that use progressive desensitization to teach babies to sleep through the night solo, but that's not at all what we're doing and that's not how our hearts lead us in this parenting effort. Instead, we cuddle up with our little guy in our family bed (actually, he has "the sidecar", a small bed I built that's immediately adjacent to our big bed) and he gets to know where we are, and we get to know where he is too. Frankly, I'm baffled why so many parents have babies then immediately begin pushing them away, as if independence is such an overriding need that depersonalization and internalization are acceptable additional results. From cribs to bottles to nursery care and separate rooms when they're a year old, why have a child if you don't want to fully enfold them into your life?

The last few nights have been funny too: in a dream state, G- has more than once burst into fits of giggles, which is just amazingly entertaining. It's something I don't at all mind being awoken by, and I just lay there in bed, half-awake, smiling and feeling the warm layer of love covering us all. I also figure that our kids are having a pretty nice childhood if their dreams cause them to giggle rather than cry out!

So, no deep thoughts here in this entry, just an observation that parenting is tiring in many ways, that the concept of recharging with a good, long, deep night of sleep is oft elusive, particularly when they're young, and that it's all worth it and I wouldn't have things any other way.

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